Love('s) Grief
March 29, 2025
Jivamukti Focus for March: Love('s) Grief
PYS II.33 वितर्कबाधने प्रतिपक्षभावनम् ॥ २.३३ ॥
vitarka-bādhane pratipakṣa-bhāvanam
When the mind is disturbed, contemplate on the opposite.
~ Translation by Manorama
As is the case with many of life’s experiences, we can’t fully grasp something until we live through it ourselves. This is particularly true for moments of great transformation. Whether they be joyful, (falling in love, achieving a lofty goal, creating new life) or heartbreaking (going through a divorce, losing your job, the passing of a loved one). The ups and downs take us on an emotional roller coaster and though we may understand intellectually that each of these moments is fleeting and impermanent, the challenging, painful (“duḥkha”) experiences, can feel like they linger or persist, while the happy, joyful (“sukha”) moments can seem to fly by.
When my sister passed away after a nearly 6-year long battle with brain cancer I was overcome with profound sadness and grief. My therapist told me, “The grief will last as long as the love.” and my first thought was “Oh no! That means forever!” As I sat with and contemplated what she said, it began to make total sense, because the sadness and grief are reflections of the joy and love I will always have for her. They are in fact 2 halves of a whole, 2 sides of a coin, that together they make up the fullness of human experience. If there had not been love, there would not have been sadness.
